Monday, April 14, 2008

Barbie and Ken Dolls

Available now in all participating Arkansas stores!!

Fayetteville Barbie 'Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, along-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house.Available with or without tummy tuck, boob job, and face lift.Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.'

Fort Smith Barbie'The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind starMinivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has nofull-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.'

West Memphis Barbie'This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewisknife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows. This model is only availableafter dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceablebills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you aretalking about.'

Bentonville Barbie 'This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW or Hummer H2.Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country clubmembership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and PrivateSchool Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.'

Harrison Barbie'This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes toosmall, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. Shehas a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She canspit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk.Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumpersticker absolutely free.'

Eureka Springs Barbie'This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with whitesocks. She prefers that you call her Willow She does not want or needa Ken doll, but if you purchase two Eureka Springs Barbie's and theoptional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.'

SW Little Rock Barbie'This Barbie now comes with a stroller and two infant dolls. Optionalaccessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddywere available, but are now very difficult to find since the additionof the infant.'

Eureka Springs II Barbie 'This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken bysimply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.'

Pine Bluff Barbie'This Barbie is no longer available... she was shot before she made itto the list.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe the one that would sell best would be the Obama Ken doll. His head has a face on both sides. He can change his skin color depending on who is talking to him. If you buy the Ken doll you have to buy the Witchelle Barbie and the Reverend Wright Ken.